piggy back rides and block houses

didnt post the last few days...just been so tired lately by the time the kids go to bed. they seem to get more exhausting the bigger they get! lol! the last few days were a lot of fun with them. everyday is something new. zak seems to be finding new words and sentences every single day. he wakes caycee up in the morning saying "good morning sweet- heart." probably the cutest thing i have ever heard! we have been watching a lot of the show wonderpets on nickelodeon. if you havent seen it, its about a guinea pig, a duckling, and a turtle who save other animals when they are in trouble. well now he hangs over the side of the couch and says "save me mommy, save me like the wonderpets." hahaha so damn cute. hmmm what else? lately hes been asking me to do alot of thngs with him. like the other day, he randomly came up to me and said, "dance with me mommy." and he started dancing in the middle of the floor, without any music on even. so funny. and now we have blocks and he brings them to me and says "build with me mommy." its gotten to the point that i will drop whatever i am doing when he asks me things like that. its just too cute and i know there will come a point in time where he wont want me to do anything with him at all. so i am enjoying every second. like tonite, i spent an hour building and rebuilding a house for his "daddy guy"....who also had a mommy and a daddy. i kept rebuilding it because caycee kept breaking it down and laughing. zak wasnt too thrilled with her let me tell ya

and then theres caycee...she is a holy terror. but the cutest terror ive ever seen. shes catching on to so much and trying so many new words. she understands things and nods her head for yes and no.

justin has been back to work and the kids have been missing him. they ask for him alot while he is gone and are so excited to see him in the morning. zak has been crying lately when he leaves and always asks him to stay home with him. if that were me, id be calling in sick everyday! good thing he has more will power than i do or we would be broke! so when he was home the other day, he played a lot with them. he built some block towers and pyramids and gave them some piggy back rides. zak did fine but caycee didnt understand what holding on meant and boom, she went down, a few times. it brought back memories when my two sisters, brother, and i used to ride around on my dads back way back when. and of course, someone always fell off and bumped a head or bit a tongue. i couldnt help but smile watching them. they mean the world to me.

and finally, my sister and brother will be home in less than a month. i am so excited. this will be the first time we have all been together for any length of time in i cant even tell you how long. they have both been going thru some person stuff and just need some normalcy back at home. and i get to see my nephew again!!! i cannot wait! thats it for tonight tho, gotta finish some laundry.

spaghetti nite!

tonite we had spaghetti for dinner (hence the title of this blog). it was just me and the kids since justin is at work so i figured an easy spaghetti dinner would be no big deal. haha i was so wrong. i dont know why i punish myself everytime but its always a disaster and yet, i keep making it. spaghetti night plus 2 toddlers always equals shirtless kids at the table, a washed floor, and immediate bath! but they love it so i love it. caycee was just a wreck, more so than usual. i sat her in the kitchen sink and cleaned her off as best i could. although i wasnt fast enough, and she grabbed my light blue shirt with her nice sauce filled hands and now i am praying that stain comes out! i even found a few noodles in her diaper (dont ask)!

speaking of caycee, she said another word today. the bag of halloween candy is on the counter in plain sight and the kids know what is inside. i keep telling myself to throw that crap out everyday but of course, i dont remember until they are asking for some. so of course before breakfast, zak is asking to eat candy. i say no, at least not until after you eat breakfast. so breakfast comes and goes and as soon as i get the table cleared, i want canny momma. so i say no, not right now. this is followed with at least a half hour of crying, whining, temper tantruming on the floor, and ended with a please momma. wow kid, you almost got me. i held my ground and still said, no not right now. but i said please momma...but i said please.....ugh. now how do u explain to the little guy that just because he said please, doesnt mean he still gets everything he is asking for? i dont have a clue and i wasnt about to try so i just walked away towards the kitchen knowing he would be following me. yes, i was goin to give in....i walk into the kitchen and i see caycee sitting under the counter where the candy bag is. just sitting there, smiling, like she knew i was coming over there. i ignored her and went the other way and heard her little footsteps followed by zaks pounding steps coming after me. he says please momma, please....and then i hear caycee say, please! it sounded more like peeeezzzeee...but wiht a huge smile and i knew exactly what she was trying to get out. ugh, i was done for. not only did she say a new word but she used it in the right context.....so of course they got their candy and caycee now knows how to melt me....and no, justin wasnt too happy with me!

content

So I haven't written nething in what seems like ages. Yes I have been busy with quite a few things happening in the past few months but that wasn't why I didn't write. I just couldn't drag myself away from my husband long enough to do anything alone. For whatever reason, it felt like he was on leave and had to go back within a few days. Even now that he is back to work, I still feel like that once in awhile. The move was great, the house is great...I am just still adjusting. I am not used to the country living. My old house backed up to harlem ave, I fell asleep listening to trucks and horns and crazy people in the apartments rite behind us. And now, I hear nothing. Nada. Except for every tiny and not so tiny creak this new house makes which makes for looong nites and many trips downstairs to make sure no one is breaking in. We have been here two months, when will the madness stop?! We have recently become professional mice killers. It started with one I found in my pantry and after a call to justin at work not resulting in him coming home to catch it, I had to wait. We set up a trap and got him in less than 24hrs. Then I saw another one, and was told I was crazy. But the trap went back up and we have caught 6 as of today. I believe I heard more tonite so we will see. Did I mention I hate hate hate mice?! I am also tryin to potty train a lazy 2 and a half year old. He will tell me after he's gone, "joe got lots of poo poo mama. Change me." He will even get the diaper and wipes for me. So he does all that yet is too lazy to go sit on the potty and do it himself! Can u say a little bit of daddy is in him?! Lol! He is also wanting to do everything himself. I can do it, I wanna do it. Let me do it. Its amazing to see him develop like that but almost a little devastating to my ego.like wait, I used to do that for u. And that. And that. At least I still have one more who needs me. Although she follows her brothers lead and tries everything he does. Including jumping over our couch, falls everytime but keeps doin it. She also found a new hiding spot inside the cabinets and I really can't find her sometimes. And for some odd reason, she is obsessed with climbin in the dishwasher. She's starting to form words and nods her head, and is starrting to understand more each day. But zak is her life and I am only needed when she is hungry, which thankfully is 99 percent of the time. Number 3 is in the works and I cannot wait. I cannot wait to put a kid down somewhere and have it sit still! Lol! All in all, everythings good. Kids are good. Justins good. House is good. Life is good. Haven't been able to say that for a long time!

hes really coming home

thank you lord for being my husband home safe and sound. well not home to me yet, but at least he is back in the united states. we actually slept in the same country or as i heard it last nite, the same continent for the first time in almost a year! thats crazy! hes called me quite a few times and mostly its to talk about nothing but i love it. i get so excited just seeing his name on my phone! and now i am waiting for him to get back to his barracks and set up his webcam so i can see him before i go to sleep. ah i cant wait! and in another few days, we will be going to sleep together and i can wake up and see his face everyday for the rest of our lives! i cant believe this is almost really over. hope the next few days just fly by!!!!

yay

Well today started off pretty bad. I was in a lot of pain and still feeling groggy from the pain pill I took last nite when the kids woke up earlier than usual. I'm usually showered and ready to go before they wake up but I was dragging this morning. I found two miserable, crusted nose kids wanting to get outta bed. I was thrilled. We still didn't do too much today. They had more energy than they did yesterday but they definetaly weren't feeling any better. So we hung out and took occaional trips out in the backyard but that's about it. I'm sure tomorrow will be the same. So I put them down for their nap when justin imed me on my phone bc his phones were down. We talked for awhile before he told me that his computer had a webcam and I could try and set mine up if I wanted to, DUH!!!! My webcam sucks and its so frustrating but I figured the frustration would be worth it even if I saw him once. When I first saw his face, I cried like a baby for a good five minutes. Its crazy. I haven't even seen a new picture of him in months and to see him live and moving and talking to me, extremely emotional to say the least. His first words to me were, "good god you are beautiful." Here I am fresh outta the shower, hair thrown up in a ponytail, and eyes red from crying and he still thinks I'm beautiful. He just amazes me. Never heard that from a guy before until I met him and whether he truly means it or not, I actually feel beautiful when I'm around him. And he looked beautiful to me (just don't ever let him know I said that). But he did, looked exactly the same as he did when he left, except a few pounds lighter and his hair is a little longer, thank god. But his eyes still sparkle and that smile....god. And it's also funny bc I was reminded of how much zakary looks like him. I mean, its not that I forgot but geez. Facial expressions and all, kind of blew me away. I was bummed that the kids were asleep bc I'm sure zak wouldve loved to see daddy but it gave us some time to talk without being interrupted so I was thankful for that. We had a good hour together but I can't really even tell u what we talked about. I just stared at him and mindlessly typed I guess. He was listening to us99 and told me to put it on right away. It was "home" by dierks bentley and if u have heard it, ud know what the significance is. If u haven't, I suggest u find it right now and have the kleenex ready. But it was just a crazy coincidence that it would come on at that moment. And saying goodbye sucked, just sucked. Sounds incredibly stupid knowing that he will be home in 9 DAYS now but ugh, I cried, he cried, and we both hesitated shutting our computers down. Its strange. Here is the one person u love more than anything on a screen for the first time in months and sayin goodbye should be nuthin compared to what we've done already. But it was like holding onto something that just tore us both up to let go of. Probably doesn't make sense huh? Anyways once I cried a lil bit more to the one person who has been my savior thru all of this, I was much better and my day was much better. Kids got up, barely ate dinner as usual, played a little in the cozy coupe cars, took a bath and went to bed. Zak proceeded to tell me that my bed is zak and daddys bed now. He patted the pillow closest to the wall and sed "dadda's". And then he sed his was the other one. So I asked him where I was supposed to sleep and he said,"I dunno, there"....pointing to his and caycees room. Funny little thing! And poor caycee was running a pretty good fever when I put her to bed. Laid right down without so much as a whimper, not like her at all. Ever since her bout with rsv, the doctor said she might take colds a lot harder than average and she has a better chance of getting of pnuemonia so I'm really watching her good. Hopefully they'll be better by friday and hopefully I don't feel like they do on friday. Keep ur fingers crossed. Well time for bed, close to 9 days now!!!

wow

Well we are officially almost at the ten day mark! I guess it is finally beginning to sink in. I am most looking forward to him just getting back to california so I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. Just knowing that he is safe will be the biggest weight lifted off of my shoulders. And that should be happening by the weekend so I will actually, for the first time in months, be able to fully enjoy a weekend with the kids. We are heading to the inlaws for a fair with something called bed races. I've seen something about them on tv but never in person. I never thought anybody really did them. Needless to say, it should be quite entertaining. Although I'm hoping zak doesn't assume that all beds move like that and that he wants to race in his now!!! It should be a good time tho. I haven't spent much time there since justin left. Its just very hard to be around his family in their surroundings without him there. Even the drive down there was hard the first time I did it without him. But like I said, this weekend I will be carefree and will have fun with my kids and my parents. That is if the kids are feeling better by then. Having sick kids is one of the worst part of being a mom. I just feel so helpless. Zak is just miserable but he doesn't complain. He's sneezing and coughing and basically laid around all day watching tv. Didn't eat much but a pretzel or two. His nose is running constantly and being a typical boy, he doesn't need kleenex. Just uses his shirt or his hand. Pretty funny considering I definetaly didn't teach him that one. I think boys just have it in their genes to be gross like that!!! And my little girl wasn't too bothered by her cold earlier but as the day went on....ugh. She's a typical girl, whiny and crabby and moody. She hasn't really been sick since she got rsv when she was a baby so I haven't seen her in action, so to speak. At one point during our movie watching, she climbed right up on my chest and passed out, just like she used to when she was a baby. I didn't want to put her down but the poor thing had a fever and was just dripping sweat. Not to mention zak then wanted to "seep on mama" too so they both ended up in their own beds for a FOUR hour nap! Then auntie jamie sent caycees birthday present, a pink cozy coupe car. So I put it together with a screwdriver and hammer and my lil man helped me with his tools. He was so cute. Everytime I hammered something he had to do it too, in the exact same spot. I can't wait to watch him build things with his daddy. So I thought this new car would fix all of the fighting they do over zaks cozy coupe. Oh man was I wrong. Now they both want to be in the new one bc the horn plays a song, unlike the one zak has. He sits in it and gets mad when she wants to get in there. And I feel so bad for her bc she just gets this look on her face and sometimes she just gives up and walks away but other times, she screeches and hits him. Ha I never know what to do about that. On one hand I yell at her for hitting but on the other, I can't say I blame her. He takes everything she has and only when she wants it. Its gotta be so frustrating for her. Oh well, guess she's just figuring out early that life isn't fair. They both went to bed around 830 so hopefully they'll be feeling better in the morning. My sister also woke up with whatver they have today so I'm just praying I can avoid this one. Although I don't think my chances are that good...between the snots that were wiped all over me and all the open mouth wet kisses I was given, I think its highly unlikely that ill miss this one. Oh well, that's life. I think I could be deathly ill and it still wouldn't take away the happiness I will feel in ten days! Wow, its crazy to even be able to write that, TEN DAYS!!! Well I guess I should try and get some sleep, gotta rest to avoid the ebola virus (that's what justin calls it when the kids get sick)! Haha

ha

Well all I can do is laugh tonite. I have to bc if I don't, I mite lose it. This nite was ridiculous. We were given different info on justins homecoming than other people received so I attempted to find out what was going on and voiced my opinions on the person we got the info from. I was told, in sort of a condescending way, that nothing will be done and possibly at a later date we can work something out. And that I shouldn't take it personal bc this person really is a good guy, u just have to get to know him. And be patient....that's all I heard over and over. And I am patient, it has nothing to do with that. I'm patient but I'm mad as hell too. I felt like we weren't informed at all bc we weren't present at the time the info was given out. There is one person who is amazing and a wonderful woman who is there for me whenever I need anything. She asks how I am doing on a daily basis, asks about the kids all the time, just a genuine person who doesn't treat u like an email address. She gets to know you so I've gone to her with things in the past that she took care of right away. Well now I'm being told that I shouldn't be contacting her anyways. What the hell? Is there really that strict of regulations that I can only go to one or two specific people in this marine corps "family"? Ya know, the say we are all a family and in this together but I don't feel any type of family anything right now. So I have decided to sit back and wait. I won't believe he is home until he is holding me. That's it. And I also will no longer be going to anyone involved in this for anything, unless it is incredibly necessary. I'm done with these people, I'm done with this deployment. I can't wait for him to get home so we can close this chapter and start living happily ever after.