kids are back

today was an okay day. i didnt sleep well last night but once i fell asleep, i slept until 10am...first time ive done that since before the kids i think. lol. so i basically did a whole lot of nothing until the kids got home. i did have a good conversation with justin today. not very long but good nonetheless. he is hearing that he may be back to the safe area within the next three weeks and i am praying to god that happens. so please, everyone pray! so the kids came home around 5pm and poor zak just wasnt awake yet. he didnt wake up for quite some time actually. he just kinda moped around here like something was wrong and i still dont know what was going on. but i offered to make him a hotdog, or a "dodo" as he calls it and that woke him up. he actually ate two of them! guess he was just starving! so then i took them for a walk in the wagon which i hadnt done yet. i was worried that caycee would try to stand up in there but they tried it at grammas and she didnt. and she didnt with me either. we walked to the park and i let zak play for awhile. caycee gets frustrated because she doesnt want to be held, she wants to be playing like zak but she has to walk to be able to do that. so i let her climb on some things and she seemed satisfied. they sat side by side swinging on the swings for almost 20 minutes, just laughing away. they are so cute!

i also talked to the pain clinic today who i guess is taking over my case right now and of course, i cant get in there until the 10th....so now i have 9 days left to deal with this pain. but something didnt sound right when i called, the front desk woman said that they added this to my chart recently...."L4 L5 herniated disk, spondylosis, and ddd (degenerative disk disease). this is the first i had ever heard of any of this and no one ever told me a think about it. i knew i had some disk bulging but nothing like this. and it doesnt make sense bc i have no back pain whatsoever, just severe hip pain. and i didnt ask the woman bc i was just trying to make sense of it in my head and now that i cant im gonna have to call them back tomorrow and figure this out. its just the last thing i need, back surgery is just a terrible surgery to get over and especially if ur adding it to hip surgery...i just cant believe this, i am only 25!!!! everyone is constantly laughing at me when i tell them these things and while i understand, it drives me crazy. i wouldnt joke about this stuff and i cant tell you how bad i wish my body was my age! i guess if thats the only price i pay for being 3 born 3 months early, than i can deal wtih it. i only had a 50% chance of survival and was expected to have brain damage and disabilities and i have none of that....so in a way, i am very lucky. but thats enough complaining for tonite, heres some pics of the park...

good day

today was an overall good day. the kids were in a great mood and i barely heard any crying or whining at all....well except when caycee took a head dive off of the slide. it was like the end of the world to her. i thought for sure it would discourage her from climbing up there again (considering she cant even walk yet) but no luck. the little demon wiped her eyes and went right back to it. god she is her father!!! we played in the backyard for quite a while today, had a good lunch where zak actually ate, took naps, and went to target. i guess its some kind of show when u see a mom shopping with two kids in a cart. i got an unsual amount of stares today. i guess it was bc poor zak was sitting in the back buried underneath all of the stuff i was buying. he was so good tho, never tried to open a thing....was very patient. i was so proud of him. ive only been to a select few stores that have those carts fit for two kids. apparently the big stores like target and walmart (which are family oriented) believe that every mom that has more than one kid is able to get a babysitter for all but one kid....i just dont understand that. i also heard a strange comment from an older woman in the store. we walked passed her and i watched her smile at the kids, the ever famous, they are so cute smile. but then she turned to her husband and said "babies having babies, what a shame." first of all, thank you bc u made me week. i am honored that u think i look like a child myself, considering i am legally an adult....in fact, u flattered me so much that i am not even upset about ur need to throw ur two cents in there when it def wasnt asked for! old people, gotta love their honesty!!! (no offense to anyone)
i have another story for u today. my neighbors friend took her son to a park at a school around my house, one that zak actually loves going to. well apparently her son accidently stepped on another childs foot. the woman then get surrounded by 8 mothers (who were of a differnt ethnicity) and told her to get out of there bc it was there park and to get used to it bc in 15 years they will take over the world! now i purposely did not put what ethnicity/religion these people are and i wont. i am not a racist person by any means and wouldnt start anything with anyone. however, no one is going to tell me to leave a park or anywhere else for that matter bc they think it is theirs or no matter how many people they have in their crowd. i would have called the police first of all bc thats a hate crime and she was threatened basically...then i wouldnt have ran away. my husband and so many of our husbands, brothers, and fathers are putting their lives on the line in a far away country so that it is safe to take our children to a park. when i heard this story i became so enraged...so damn enraged. i have yet to go back to that park yet...i feel like i need to calm down a little bit before i take that chance.
anyways, i talked to justin again today. it was only supposed to be an internet day but zak was having a hard time today and therefore i was having a hard time so justin felt like he had to call. it seems as it closer, zak just doesnt deal with it as well. hes alawys asking for him, or looking for him, and today he wanted to get in daddys car! i know he understands to a point but its like he has had enough of all of this. it just breaks my heart into pieces....sometimes i wish he was older and able to comprehend all of this...but soon enough he will have his hero back and for good (fingers crossed).
my brother is graduating from ranger school next month, hopefully on time. my family is talking about going down there and seeing it. i guess its supposed to be phenomenal. i cant wait to see my brother. that kid means so much to me...and he means even more to zak. he cant wait to see his "dodo"...dont ask where that came from. it should be fun tho, aside from spending 3 or 4 days with both of my parents at the same time. something always hits the fan when they are together, and i am there to get the brunt of it. so in that sense, i am dreading it.
thats about it for today. kids are in bed and ive got some laundry to finish up.