yay

Well today started off pretty bad. I was in a lot of pain and still feeling groggy from the pain pill I took last nite when the kids woke up earlier than usual. I'm usually showered and ready to go before they wake up but I was dragging this morning. I found two miserable, crusted nose kids wanting to get outta bed. I was thrilled. We still didn't do too much today. They had more energy than they did yesterday but they definetaly weren't feeling any better. So we hung out and took occaional trips out in the backyard but that's about it. I'm sure tomorrow will be the same. So I put them down for their nap when justin imed me on my phone bc his phones were down. We talked for awhile before he told me that his computer had a webcam and I could try and set mine up if I wanted to, DUH!!!! My webcam sucks and its so frustrating but I figured the frustration would be worth it even if I saw him once. When I first saw his face, I cried like a baby for a good five minutes. Its crazy. I haven't even seen a new picture of him in months and to see him live and moving and talking to me, extremely emotional to say the least. His first words to me were, "good god you are beautiful." Here I am fresh outta the shower, hair thrown up in a ponytail, and eyes red from crying and he still thinks I'm beautiful. He just amazes me. Never heard that from a guy before until I met him and whether he truly means it or not, I actually feel beautiful when I'm around him. And he looked beautiful to me (just don't ever let him know I said that). But he did, looked exactly the same as he did when he left, except a few pounds lighter and his hair is a little longer, thank god. But his eyes still sparkle and that smile....god. And it's also funny bc I was reminded of how much zakary looks like him. I mean, its not that I forgot but geez. Facial expressions and all, kind of blew me away. I was bummed that the kids were asleep bc I'm sure zak wouldve loved to see daddy but it gave us some time to talk without being interrupted so I was thankful for that. We had a good hour together but I can't really even tell u what we talked about. I just stared at him and mindlessly typed I guess. He was listening to us99 and told me to put it on right away. It was "home" by dierks bentley and if u have heard it, ud know what the significance is. If u haven't, I suggest u find it right now and have the kleenex ready. But it was just a crazy coincidence that it would come on at that moment. And saying goodbye sucked, just sucked. Sounds incredibly stupid knowing that he will be home in 9 DAYS now but ugh, I cried, he cried, and we both hesitated shutting our computers down. Its strange. Here is the one person u love more than anything on a screen for the first time in months and sayin goodbye should be nuthin compared to what we've done already. But it was like holding onto something that just tore us both up to let go of. Probably doesn't make sense huh? Anyways once I cried a lil bit more to the one person who has been my savior thru all of this, I was much better and my day was much better. Kids got up, barely ate dinner as usual, played a little in the cozy coupe cars, took a bath and went to bed. Zak proceeded to tell me that my bed is zak and daddys bed now. He patted the pillow closest to the wall and sed "dadda's". And then he sed his was the other one. So I asked him where I was supposed to sleep and he said,"I dunno, there"....pointing to his and caycees room. Funny little thing! And poor caycee was running a pretty good fever when I put her to bed. Laid right down without so much as a whimper, not like her at all. Ever since her bout with rsv, the doctor said she might take colds a lot harder than average and she has a better chance of getting of pnuemonia so I'm really watching her good. Hopefully they'll be better by friday and hopefully I don't feel like they do on friday. Keep ur fingers crossed. Well time for bed, close to 9 days now!!!