kids are back

today was an okay day. i didnt sleep well last night but once i fell asleep, i slept until 10am...first time ive done that since before the kids i think. lol. so i basically did a whole lot of nothing until the kids got home. i did have a good conversation with justin today. not very long but good nonetheless. he is hearing that he may be back to the safe area within the next three weeks and i am praying to god that happens. so please, everyone pray! so the kids came home around 5pm and poor zak just wasnt awake yet. he didnt wake up for quite some time actually. he just kinda moped around here like something was wrong and i still dont know what was going on. but i offered to make him a hotdog, or a "dodo" as he calls it and that woke him up. he actually ate two of them! guess he was just starving! so then i took them for a walk in the wagon which i hadnt done yet. i was worried that caycee would try to stand up in there but they tried it at grammas and she didnt. and she didnt with me either. we walked to the park and i let zak play for awhile. caycee gets frustrated because she doesnt want to be held, she wants to be playing like zak but she has to walk to be able to do that. so i let her climb on some things and she seemed satisfied. they sat side by side swinging on the swings for almost 20 minutes, just laughing away. they are so cute!

i also talked to the pain clinic today who i guess is taking over my case right now and of course, i cant get in there until the 10th....so now i have 9 days left to deal with this pain. but something didnt sound right when i called, the front desk woman said that they added this to my chart recently...."L4 L5 herniated disk, spondylosis, and ddd (degenerative disk disease). this is the first i had ever heard of any of this and no one ever told me a think about it. i knew i had some disk bulging but nothing like this. and it doesnt make sense bc i have no back pain whatsoever, just severe hip pain. and i didnt ask the woman bc i was just trying to make sense of it in my head and now that i cant im gonna have to call them back tomorrow and figure this out. its just the last thing i need, back surgery is just a terrible surgery to get over and especially if ur adding it to hip surgery...i just cant believe this, i am only 25!!!! everyone is constantly laughing at me when i tell them these things and while i understand, it drives me crazy. i wouldnt joke about this stuff and i cant tell you how bad i wish my body was my age! i guess if thats the only price i pay for being 3 born 3 months early, than i can deal wtih it. i only had a 50% chance of survival and was expected to have brain damage and disabilities and i have none of that....so in a way, i am very lucky. but thats enough complaining for tonite, heres some pics of the park...