family party

today was a blast. we had a family party out in homer glen and it was so fun. zak played with my little cousin ben, who is three, for the first time. they did the typical boy stuff, play fighting. at one point, ben had enough and ran away. well zak wasnt done wiht him yet and chased after him. somehow they bumped heads and ben started crying. well my loveable little man went right up to him, kissed him, and said, "i sowy." it was so cute! and then three of my uncles started wrestling with him and throwing pillows at him and zak was in heaven. he was screaming and giggling and just constantly smiling. i cant tell you the last time that kid was that happy. i of course teared up bc it just showed had bad he needs his daddy for that kind of stuff, among other things. at one point, he stopped and said "i pay dada ( i play daddy)" and everyone in the room looked at me. i mean, dead silence....and all i could choke out was "pretty soon, baby, pretty soon." he was satisfied with that but god, it hurts so damn bad. these are the only times i get angry at justin for doing this....the only time. and i know its not fair to do that but how do i shake that off? when it comes to your kids and their feelings, i guess you cant shake anything off....all in all tho, it was a good time. i even let them stay out way past their bed time and got plenty of phone calls from my mom. where are you? wat are you doing? come on, i am gone one night doing what i want to do, i and i get these calls.....what are you gonna do when i move out? call me every night just to make sure i am home and okay? haha! i just think its funny at this point. theres nothing else to do but laugh. septemeber 16th, september 16th...thats all i keep saying to myself. but the kids are fast asleep and i should attempt to as well.....they will be leaving me for a few days to spend some time with nana and poppa! zak is already soo excited!